BERLIN – Two young German computer hackers allegedly stole pop songs from Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Ke$ha and Kelly Clarkson, selling them online and forcing the advanced release of several singles, officials said Friday.

An 18-year-old high school student from Duisburg, and his alleged accomplice, a 23-year-old unemployed man from Wesel, are under investigation for using a Trojan Horse to hack into the artists’ computers for about 12 months before being discovered, Duisburg chief prosecutor Rolf Haferkamp told The Associated Press.

During that time, they earned more than euro10,000 ($13,240) in illegal sales of tracks acquired from the stars’ computers. Haferkamp would not comment on specific songs that were stolen.

Both men live with their parents in the western German cities, which are about 20 miles (30 kilometers) apart.  (from Yahoo news)

     A couple of things strike me here. Three of the biggest names in pop music and these guys, over the course of a year, can only get about $13k for unreleased, new songs? How junky and bleak is the future of pop music? And it’s classic that the article is sure to let everyone know that these guys are living at home.  They can hack a computer from half-way around the world and steal “highly valuable” information, but they can’t get their peeps to co-sign for an apartment.  Tragic. 

     What would John Wayne have tweeted about these heroes? John Wayne would have manipulated the larynx of a live bird with his bare hands to call them morons and cluck out a challenge for them to find a flat and set up their “hacking bidness” (it pays around $13k per year so learn to budget wisely) away from the only people they know that go to work and pay rent.  If there’s a silver lining here they are probably phenomenal World of Warcraft playaz.