I frequently complain about the bad days. 

And, to be clear, I’m pretty good at complaining.

A lot of times griping feels like my spiritual gift. Grumbling and murmuring and verbalizing my frustrations is a native language – I’m very effective at explaining bad days. This can often be an unfortunate trait because often times we tend to do what we’re good at; listeners listen, builders build, and gripers…well, we gripe – with a high level of expertise 🙂

Perhaps because of this, I’m not often as disciplined as I should be to acknowledge the good days.  And in prayer today I realized that I was unexpectedly in the middle of a day that wasn’t nearly as bad as some that I’ve had of late. And as this realization emerged there was a conviction in me to openly acknowledge and clearly declare that this is a good day.

This understanding, however, came from an unusual place. It came from a place of confusion. Prayerfully trying to understand some things about my life that I don’t fully understand right now led to the insightful voice of the Spirit making clear something that had been foggy for quite some time. And there were three distinct “inner-being equations” that I was able to discern through reflection:

Confusion + Exhaustion is a death sentence.

This is literally the worst case scenario for my life. When I don’t really know where I’m going, when my purpose becomes unclear and I have no energy and the well of my life is not keeping up with the demand for water, I am more prone to depression, Panic attacks and a disposition that uses humor to mask the true depths of the abyss in my soul.

What is interesting about today, as I stated above, is that there is still confusion in me. I don’t have everything figured out. I don’t know everything that I wish I knew. I can’t see as far into the future as I wish I could. 

But the question for me is simply: what’s different? For the moment I do not feel nearly as exhausted as I have for the last several weeks.  Which means:

Confusion + Energy leads to exploration, investigation and often healthy questions.

And as I thought through this I reviewed my life over the last five years. And I think the opposite of this equation is true as well:

Clarity + Exhaustion leads to endurance, perseverance and sometimes a healthy view of rest.

In Acts 20, the Apostle Paul is prophesied over by a man named Agabus.

Even if I don’t have any energy, when I know my purpose clearly and I have a task in front of me I understand and am convicted of the importance of, I can push through weirdness and even dry seasons of wilderness to complete and accomplish what has been given to me. 

It’s amazing to me how God has designed us. We don’t have to have all the pieces to find value in the puzzle. We only need enough to sense the goal of the One who gave them to us.

There is a way to look at biblical accounts of Abraham, Moses, Elijah, David and more to see this in the Scriptures. Those stories are worth visiting and re-visiting for wisdom and to know that whatever kind of day we’re having, we aren’t the first one in history to have it. But for this morning I’m just thankful to the Lord for giving me enough insight to begin to codify some of the seasons of ministry that have been very foggy up till now. 

Today I’ve got a lot of questions, but today I’ve also got some passion and energy. 

So today, even though everything is not clear, is a good day.